Any of these words would work just as well for how I'm feeling...wonderful, happy, energetic, and blessed. Also I'm feeling a little bit guilty because I haven't posted a blog in way too long. I'm so sorry my friends. Two blogs last month is really an unacceptable all time low on Grace, Joy, and Healing. The truth is as I've started to feel better and better, I've gotten a new found energy and a new project to put it all into. The project has required more of my time than even my psychology doctoral program has. It is an undertaking of a magnitude that is scary and requires that I dream bigger than I ever have dared to before. But I've discovered that living is done to its fullest when it’s done in this "scary" zone.
OK I won't keep you in suspense any longer. I'm starting a company called Color My Sole that is a women's shoe accessory company (more details to come very soon). Nate and I have been working with a patent attorney to get our idea patented and it looks like we have a patentable product. We have also been researching, learning, reading, developing, and speaking to everyone we know that can give us any ideas and/or help. We've registered the domain name ColorMySole.com and hopefully the website will be up and running very soon.
The company name is very significant for me personally because it is a play on the words color my soul. Not only am I feeling better than ever, but creating and working on this company has literally colored my soul! It was my wonderful mentor who pointed this out to me the other day. Thanks mentor! The enthusiasm in me in uncontainable and it has breathed new life into me. My soul has literally been colored! For example, I still have a tiny bit of pain on some days but I have completely weaned myself off of all oral narcotics. I can't afford to have my mind any less than super sharp these days. Also I still sometimes get a little fatigued, but I now have the energy to push through and conquer the fatigue without even taking a nap.
As I've written before, I'm a huge girly girl into all things fashionable and I love shoes and high heels, so to be able to do something in this industry is a delight for me. But more than this, the bigger picture is to think that one day I can have the honor and pleasure to give other women colored souls and a little extra bounce in their step regardless of what life is currently throwing at them. So you see, this is the true reason why I'm feeling lucky!
Next Wednesday I start radiation round 2. I know what to expect in some regards and in others I really have no idea. I know that this time around I'm entering into the process feeling amazing. Also I'm on a medication that has controlled my nerve pain and doesn't make me feel like I have a curtain over my head (that's how the narcotics make me feel). My family is already in discussion of who's taking me to my treatment everyday of the week. Of course I can take myself; I am driving again. But they really do it out of moral support and I love and look forward to the time I get to spend with Ili, my mom, or my dad (some days all of them at once). It's definitely one of the highlights of the radiation process for me. Nate will of course be here to hold my hand, get my medications whenever I need them, and give a lucky girl all the love and support that I could need during this time. This blog will also continue to give me the strength I need to carry on my journey through the wonderful messages and support that I receive from all of you. Those are all my “knows.” The unknowns I really can't say; that's why they're unknown ;-). But whatever comes, will come, and we'll deal with it when it does. No use wondering about what might be.
From now until whenever the radiation starts to slow me down (if it even does) I'll be full speed ahead - living in the exciting and scary zone but feeling incredibly lucky that life gave me the "AHA" moment I needed to create Color My Sole and hopefully make women around the world feel that their soul has been colored as well!